That jokes
Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed 3 episodes of your favorite show.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?
That’s assault!
Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!
Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.
Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!
Sans: Yea bro.
Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.
Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA
What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?
A bullet.
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.
What do you call a train that carries glue?
A glue-glue train!