That jokes
Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: You're both!
Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.
Mom: Meet my boyfriend.
Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?
Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.
That dam looks damn cool!
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow