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I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.

My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

🎨🧑🏻‍🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.

If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.

I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos tried to snap her out of the world, he couldn't do it, so instead, he clapped her out of the world.

Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.

and found that in all the videos his father is...

Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"

Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."

Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."

Dad: "Exactly, son."

Be grateful:

You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.

Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.

A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."

The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"

The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."

The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"

She says, "Vinegar and water."

Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.

What is the difference between a human being and a tree tree house that is a tree tree house that is a tree tree house that is a tree tree 🌳?