Yo mom's so fat that she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.
Yo mama is so stupid that she studied for a COVID test.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?
Their ankles.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!
Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?
So he could trump that little bitch!
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I’m blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
