That jokes

I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.

Your forehead is big. God said dude that's bigger than me and I'm infinitely big!

What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?

Their ankles.

Hey girl, are you an orphan?

Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.

Your hairline goes so far back that even Gavin, who looks like a monkey, can't see it!

A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”

What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?

The "curry muncher 2000."

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.

You're so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye.

I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!