That jokes

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.

Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.

Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?

Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.

Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, that’s the wrong number.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa? The water gun.

Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"

Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."

Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"

Dad: "That isn't the remote."

*Weird background music*

If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?

All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.

What's that? said the orphans.

Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.

What's the IJK?

I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Who was not happy that the Titanic sank? The fish under it.

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!

Is that a person over there?

Na, it's Jesus.

Your mom is so fat that she doesn't need WiFi because she is worldwide.

I asked the little German girl to rate our sex between 1-10. She kept crying and shouting "9!"

That's the best I've done so far.

Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?