The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏
I played Uno with my Mexican friend.
That bastard took all the green cards!
My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
I heard that the World Orphan Organization has a sponsor... DC Comics.
You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.
Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Saw that shit on Roblox.
My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.
Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.
What did one ass cheek say to the other?
"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"
My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”
That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
