That jokes

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

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    • What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?

    Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.

    Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

    "Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

    I suppose that was a fair compromise!

    All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

    I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.

    I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

    My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

    What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.

    What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.

    There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

    What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

    You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

    Then I start to think I was the problem :(

    Just kidding, fuck that asshole!