That jokes

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."

Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.

We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.

Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces come in pears.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

Why did the Twin Towers fall exactly at 9/11?

Because the terrorists thought that it would be fun to call 911 as a "prank."

Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."

And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

Friend: I broke up with Sara.

Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.

Friend: How did her pussy feel?

Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.

Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!

What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?

"Family strong, but not that strong."

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.

I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.

Aitana is so fat that Thanos had to clap for her to disappear.

Your hairline goes so far back that even your mom couldn’t see it.

You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.

You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.

What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.

As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.