Terry jokes

Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?

A. "Till I Collapse."

Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.

He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.

When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.

It happened too fast, he watched the very last.

Next he died, eaten all fried.

Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?

A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.

I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.

Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Terrier.

Terrier who?

Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!

Q. What's Terri Schiavo's favorite movie?

A. The Purge.

If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?

Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?

A. She didn't know how to swallow.

I parked in a disabled space today...

...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”

Technoblade would love it here.

"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."

Hi Trent!

What did Tennessee do?

The same thing Arkansas did.