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Tell jokes

Priest

    • What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.

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    • Bullshit

    • Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

    Treon: How did you find that?!

    Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

    Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

    Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

    Treon: We can't!

    Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

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    • Language

    • Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!

    Tell memes

    Dad

    • You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.

    Bird

    • Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.

    Sugar

    • Johnny, Johnny?

    Yes, Papa.

    Eating sugar?

    Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.

    Smoking? Telling lies?

    Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.

    Hunter

    • I’m about to tell you the funniest joke I heard:

    Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls emergency services. The operator then hears the problem and says, “Well, let’s make sure he’s dead.” A shot is then heard. The other guy says, “Ok, now what?”

    Did you laugh?

    Cheerio

    • The Cheerio Joke

    Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.

    So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.

    The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."

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    • Rape

    • Rape: The only crime where you have to tell the victim they couldn't do anything even if they could run or say something, then after, are told rapists stop them doing something about it.

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