Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
Television Jokes
Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
So sad that orphans can't watch Family Feud. 😔
What appears over Ash’s head when he gets an idea?
A LightBulbasaur.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
Yo mama so fat the last time I saw 90210 was when she stepped on the scale.
Lucky for me I'm only 210.
Your mama so slow, she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!
Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Your mama is so ugly, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-
My buddies think I'm on the lake.
Boss thinks I've been sick for days.
And mama's probably on her way
'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.
I've been a million places,
But they're all up in my head.
Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.
Took a trip down memory lane.
Checked into hotel heartbreak.
Passed rock bottom on the way
Without leaving my living room.
I've been a million places
But they're all up in my head.
Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.
Yeah
I've been gone.
All the clothes are on the floor
All the mail's by the door
All the whiskey bottles in my bed.
All the dishes in the sink
All the gas is in the tank
All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.
I've been gone, I've been gone
I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.
All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong
Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane
Sadder than a country song.
Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way
Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)
I've been gone (ooh, ooh)
Gone
How do you find Will Smith?
You look for the Fresh Prince.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
Why is Ronnie Anne like Lincoln? Because he is a softy about everything.
Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
