Technology jokes
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
Stephen Hawking died because he lost his WiFi connection.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
My husband wants to tell me about my childhood.
Ok, I can't access the panel without the password.
Did you know that an orphan can take a selfie and a family photo at the same time?
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
What do you call a family picture for an orphan?
A selfie.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
What's the difference between a computer and a crumpled person? A computer runs.
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
When is the last time you picked up the phone?
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.