Tan jokes

Have you heard about the tanning Olympics?

Everyone wanted bronze! (This is a lil cringe.)

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair? Your next door grumpy old neighbor.

Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit. Had a new mash, just landed. Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it. The verbal ting I can't stand it. Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it. Mad ting. Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it. Back on a Feltham landing. You ain't been in the hood like Robin. I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud). The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud). No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped. Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue that's dead.

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

How does a mathematician get tan?

sin/cos.

If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?

When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.

What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?

Your camera.

What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?

Tan toes.

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.

What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?

A baby in a blender.

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

¿No sabes el chiste de Pocoyó? Tan Pocoyó.

I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"

Tate

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!

Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.