New Tan Jokes

Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?

Your camera.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?

A baby in a blender.

¿No sabes el chiste de Pocoyó? Tan Pocoyó.

Digga D, I'm a well known bandit, bandit. Had a new mash, just landed. Jheez, cop it, chop it, sand it, hand it. The verbal ting I can't stand it. Wife and two, got tanned when I banged it. Mad ting. Got a conspiracy case in the silliest Place, they're saying that I planned it, damn it. Back on a Feltham landing. You ain't been in the hood like Robin. I ride in hoods tryna leave man red (Crud). The sweets are goldy, yola drops and lots of dred (Maud). No porkies, pepper them pigeons, they chase this ped. Gyal tryna give man noddy, She ain't got balls in her tongue that's dead.

Have you heard about the tanning Olympics?

Everyone wanted bronze! (This is a lil cringe.)

If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?

When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.

What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?

Tan toes.

Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.