Table Jokes

I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

I think someone must've poached it.

How do you know if a rapper is hungry?

They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table

what do you call an orphan at the dinner table?

family dinner!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

One day a lady and her husband we re talking and it was time for dinner he got up and sat at the dinning room table and the lady brang the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him ,what s this he said (the lady said a piece of shit ....honey! Wants some water to drink

Yo hairline so far, that if you put tables on it, it would NEVER end.

Friend:Hey let me give you a little riddle theres a table four people who are supposed to sit there is you me will mary in witch or will they sit

Other friend:uhm you, me, mary and will?

Friend 1:nope guess again!

Other friend:okay what about will you mary me? oh wait...

friend 1:OF course!!!!:D

Your at a buffet, you think your hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of your self, you get stuck looking at sides in the buffet, a roly poly gal you see in corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end, you go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slamed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she's is tenderizing you for dinner.

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband. Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

What did the cat say when he fell off the table? * MEOM!

Random words in my keyboard:

The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.

So I'm the Cable Guy around the neighborhood and I do everybody's table so I walked into this one house and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs I was asking where her mom was and she wasn't answering and it looked like something was wrong so I asked if anything was wrong she didn't answer so I kind of raise my voice at her but she still didn't answer and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear

Pool table

My dad told me "No electronics at the table", so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table

Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.