Switch jokes

What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?

I don’t turn on a light switch.

Friend, you so faaaat.

Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.

The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.

So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?

She opens the car door.

Haven’t they switched him off and then back on yet?

"Yo mama so bad we gotta switch to yo papa."

The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.

I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.

Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.

Like and comment if you get it!

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D