New Switch Jokes

I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides

How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.

Yo mama sobaad we gotta switch to yo papa

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby. Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

Fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people? - Just switch off the lights.

“Remember switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading.” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.

What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?

I don’t turn on a light switch

My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing minecraft all night. Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believe that at the time. But now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't

man: why cant an orphan use Verizon ? kid: why? man: cause they have a family plan kid: oh then i need to switch phone services then man: why kid: im a orphan man: laughs out loud thats tuff ( you can tell the joke shortentd by saying why cant an orphan use Verizon cause they have a family plan)

what dose a pedophile and a light switch have in common

They both get turned on by children

2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working

How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

The reason Steven Hawkins died was because he switches WiFi routers for sky to virgin so his computer la-ged out

Why didn't they just switch him on and off again or switch his batteries

Friend...you so faaaat. Me... Boy at lest I'm not built like a Nintendo switch

So one day, I took a trip to Russia, and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any body guards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days. After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I had said yes, and the officer said god help us. So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent, and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said. I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy. He said we did, and that we were extremely drunk.