Swing

Swing Jokes

Momma

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

Broom

Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.

Susie

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.

Knock

Sally fell off the swing.

Sally has no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

Avalanche

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Orphan

Why don't orphans go to the park?

Because their parents can't push them on the swing!

Minefield

So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?

A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.

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  • Boy

    Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.

    What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

    Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

    Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.

    Fridge

    Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? Someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH!

    Knock

    Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?

    She had no arms.

    Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Not Susie.

    Sally

    Why did Sally fall off the swing?

    Because there's too many jokes about Sally.

    Suzy

    Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

    Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.

    Girl

    Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!

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  • Guy

    A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.

    The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.

    The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"

    The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."

    Man

    A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"