Swing jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope? Stopping it with a shovel.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
Community talk
According to the last post, voters picked Jamal to "Hide in a nearby gay strip club".
*THIS STORY HAS GRAPHIC CONTENT, DO NOT CONTINUE READING IF YOU'RE OFFENDED BY ANY OF THE JOKES*
Episode 2: The Sticky Situation – "Ebony Ass Shake in the F*g Den"
Jamal sprints his black ass into "Rainbow Rodeo," a sleazy queer joint packed with flaming white twinks, burly bears, and thirsty Latinos eyeing fresh meat. The bounce… Read more
Since this site is so FUCKING dead all the time, I have a fun game for y'all to play! Every day, there's going to a poll where YOU guys control what a person named "Jamal" does. Story number 1 is going to be "BBC Bounty: Cartel Craves That N***a Nut".
Before we start, *THIS STORY HAS GRAPHIC CONTENT, DON'T READ IF YOU FIND IT OFFENSIVE (obviously no N-words and they're only censored because of Matt's rule). And hon… Read more
Uh oh, and here we go Yeah, that's Mike E. Clark And we're the Insane Clown Posse And this here is the chop chop slide If you heard something similar to this Fuck that, 'cause we the shit Juggalos, what's our signal? Whoop-whoop! That's right! Now what we gonna do is clap four times quickly and bust the signal Whoop-whoop! Whoop-whoop! Yeah, not bad, not bad But let's do it again, some of y'all were a little slow on … Read more