Surprise jokes
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.
He just moved back in with his mom.
The Twin Towers remind me of an emote... bing, bang, boom.
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Knock, knock!
"Is that daddy?"
No, but I'm about to be, so get on your knees!
I also got mine replaced, hehe, I have a special surprised for you UwU
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Me be straight and bored.
Goes to my local bar which has a glory hole.
Out up spending the rest of the night there.
About to leave when, motherfucker, I realize I've been sucking a guy's cock this whole time.
):
My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!
P.S., it's Jake.
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?
Driving through the woods today, I saw a boy with a bare behind.