Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get? Answer: Love
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
Are there support groups for men?
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.
Hahahahaha......... Autism.
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
I just wanna say thanks to everyone who favorited my jokes and commented! Thanks!
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
