Support jokes

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?

Answer: Love.

Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.

Explain Bear is always there for you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.

Hahahahaha......... Autism.

Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."

My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.

You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.

Lemme just say one thing:

Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.

And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.

What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.

I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

Why are orphans whores?

Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃