Support jokes
My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
If I was a raped victim, would silence be the best medicine?
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Why was Liverpool the worst bespoke? Rio supports it, hahah!
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
I support men.
Are there support groups for men?
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"