Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."
When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
If I was a raped victim, would silence be the best medicine?
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Why was Liverpool the worst bespoke? Rio supports it, hahah!
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
