Superhero jokes

Yo mama so fat it took Thanos 2 snaps.

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.

The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”

Robin: "The car's not working."

Batman: "Did you check the battery?"

Robin: "What's a tery?"

Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?

On a website.

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"

Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"

Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."

What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?

“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”

Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?

Because his parents will be far from home.

Actually, Iron Man is female.

Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"

Spiderman: "Yes."

Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."

Spiderman: "Why?"

Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."

What's the favorite Spiderman film for orphans?

Homecoming.

Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?

"Never mind, it's too fast."

What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?

Spider-Man: Far From Home.

What did one orphan say to another orphan?

"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!

What do you call a group of transgender women? Ex-Men.

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."

Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.

This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.