Superhero jokes

What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?

Defective rabies.

There is a dark alley. Who do you call?

Batman.

A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.

I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.

What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?

Spider-Man: Homecoming.

What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

What is a superhero’s 🦸‍♀️ favorite drink?

Fruit punch!

Why is Beast Boy so good at flying?

Terra hasn't forgiven him.

To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.

Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?

Because he always makes spider-sense.

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Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?

Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!

With great depression comes great antidepressants.

What is an orphan's favorite costume? Batman!

One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.

I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."

Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?

"Never mind, it's too fast."

Yo mama so stupid, she thought baseballs were at Batman!