Superhero jokes

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers?

Because he's a quadriplegic.

Batman vs Superman?

Your hairline is so bad that the Teen Titans gave up.

What do you call an orphan? Batman.

Iron Man dies.

A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.

The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"

He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."

They eat them, jump off, and die.

He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"

Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.

Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide

What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!

What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.

Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?

Asgard.

Does anyone know Wakanda movie is Black Panther?

Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?

What is an orphan's role model?

Batman.

Why does Batman only wear black?

Because he's emo!

Yo mama so fat, it took the Flash 40 years to run around her.

Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.

Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"

Question: How was Covid-19 born?

Answer: Someone fucked Batman! 😂

How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?

Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.

Knock knock. Hwoo's there? Far from home. Hwoo's far from home? Spider-Man.