Superhero jokes
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
With great depression comes great antidepressants.
You know why they call her Wonder Woman?
She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.
Splat.
The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
All these Avengers and you're still marvellous.
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Orphan: I want to be like Batman.
Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.
You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:
Orphan: No Way Home.
Q: What do you call a group of transgender women?
A: The X-Men.
What is Thanos's favorite video game?
Pokémon Snap.
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
Why is Black Panther every cop's worst nightmare?
He is a bulletproof black man.
Spider-Man, more like spider orphan.
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."