Superhero jokes

Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.

He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.

He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.

Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"

The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."

What is a group of depressed kids called? They are called the "Suicide Squad."

Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

The "P" in Batman stands for parents.

Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?

Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.

I'm Batman.

A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."

He went home, his parents weren't there.

Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?

Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!

Iron Man: Where are you from?

Thor: Asgard.

Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Spider-Man: Homecoming."

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"

Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.

Spider-Man, more like spider orphan.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought baseballs were at Batman!

To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.

What is Batman's favorite food?

Justice.

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

What do you call a downie superhero?

Chromo-doner.

What do superheroes put in their drinks?

Just ice.

What is the favorite movie of orphans?

Spider-Man: Homecoming.