Superhero jokes

A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.

"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"

The man with glasses frowns.

"Where did all the others go, then?"

Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.

He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.

He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.

Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"

The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."

What is a group of depressed kids called? They are called the "Suicide Squad."

Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

The "P" in Batman stands for parents.

Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?

Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.

I'm Batman.

A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."

He went home, his parents weren't there.

Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?

Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!

Iron Man: Where are you from?

Thor: Asgard.

Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Spider-Man: Homecoming."

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"

Your mama so fat that’s why Hulk gets big.

Spider-Man, more like spider orphan.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought baseballs were at Batman!

To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.

What is Batman's favorite food?

Justice.

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.

Your hairline is so bad that it looks like you have Ironman's helmet on your head.