I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
Why did my wife leave me?
I wish I knew.
A leaf and an emo fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stopped the emo.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.
Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
I will pay someone to kill me.
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)
"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))
And slice jokes!
What kind of "slices"?
Handy ones. ^_^
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!
