Suicide jokes
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.
Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
Memes
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
Why did my wife leave me?
I wish I knew.
A leaf and an emo fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stopped the emo.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
I will pay someone to kill me.
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!