Suicide Jokes

one day my friend said: i want tacos from Katie's, you? and i said no thanks and she left i never saw her again, today i remember that i saw her name on TV as one of the victems of suicide, then i remember her and I's moto: if i'm dieing you dieing with me you got no chouse, i NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.

I'm gonna cut my life off\

You wanna hear a joke?

2 Emo's hanging out under a tree🤣🤣🤣🤣

How many Emo's does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time 🤣🤣🤣🤣

What was Jim Jones' favorite drink? Killer Koolaid

try not to <3

Why I come here instead of reddit nowadays >:\

When all of your suicide memes get
removed by the mods for being too edgy,
but then you see someone else posting a
suicide meme and getting 7.5k upvotes.
[Removed]
Feu
ifunny.co

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you.", in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says "Cool, let me try!", and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says "Superman, you're an asshole."

Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline. The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.

The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"

Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.

A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.

"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.

"My wife cheated on me." a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Dave says.

"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."

Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:

"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"

Lemme just say one thing:

Depression is not funny. 2 of my best friends have it and its actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. Its really not funny to joke about depression.

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!” Kid: “Whatever” Principal: Why did you have to swear” Because of that one demerit!” Kid; “Doesn't matter!” Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!” Kid: “Oh well!” Principle: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!” Kid: “Im try not to kill myself!”

An orphan was chock g he called the ambulace i he forgot he's suicide and quickly HUNG up

Random person: minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life Me: well screw life maybe if i light a fire on myself i will go to minecraft (my excuse for suicide)