Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.
ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!
What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?
The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
