Suicide jokes
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...
How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
Poop and balls through the walls!
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
Who was most surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide?
Jeffrey Epstein.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.