Suicide jokes
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
Memes
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?
It left him hanging.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."