Suicide jokes
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?
It left him hanging.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.