Suicide jokes

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?

The rope.

The man was dangling by a string!

I was jealous the day he died.

I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!

Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.

That’s why no one will be hurt.

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?

Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.

What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?

A byebyesexual.

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)

A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."

Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.

I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.

I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.

It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

If the noose breaks, stab yourself!

If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!

If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

How were tire swings made?

A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.

What did the tree do to the emo?

He left him hanging.