Suicide jokes
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Hang in there, you all, Literally.
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.