Suicide jokes
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
What's an emo kid's favorite movie?
Suicide Squad.
Why did the feminist kill herself? Because she was TRIGGERED.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!
Don't do suicide, that shit kills.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
The 9/11 suicide jumpers, they went through 110 stories in 5 seconds. Sorry.