Suicide jokes

I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!

What did I say to the bridge?

Bye, bridge.

Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.

In fact, they hang with them!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Suicide.

Suicide who?

Suicide you.

Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.

Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.

We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.

What is a suicidal horny person's job?

A butcher.

Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.

When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.

I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.

I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?

The depressay expressay.

Just kidding, bleach!

I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.

I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:

If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?

A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, slut!"

I walked towards him.

"I prefer slit," I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"You see these wrists?" I spat at him.

Why did the feminist kill herself?

Because she was TRIGGERED.

When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.

Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.