Suicide jokes

What did I say to the bridge?

Bye, bridge.

Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.

In fact, they hang with them!

I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!

Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.

You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.

Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.

Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.

We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.

What is a suicidal horny person's job?

A butcher.

I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.

When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.

Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.

I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?

The depressay expressay.

Just kidding, bleach!

I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.

I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:

If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?

A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, slut!"

I walked towards him.

"I prefer slit," I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"You see these wrists?" I spat at him.