Suicide

Suicide jokes

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?

The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?

An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?

One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.

What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.

I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"