Suicide jokes
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?
An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.
Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
Try not to <3.
Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?
One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.
What kills you?
Suicide.
I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
What did the tree do to the emo?
He left him hanging.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.