I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?
The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
Did the tree high five the emos?
No, he just left them hanging.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?
The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?
I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
