Suck jokes

Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."

Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."

Rape victims suck, literally.

A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.

Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.

I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.

Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.

Suck all the bread!

Two Native Americans

Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"

The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.

His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"

Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"

These Afghanistan people suck at Jenga.

Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?

Answer: Because he sucks!

Why did the cheetah get sad?

'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.

I saw my sister sucking a big toe.

I accidentally sucked my own ball sack.

I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.

What's got 9 arms and sucks?

Def Leppard.

I charge 50 bucks a suck.

Morbius was awesome, and the Batman sucked.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?

Suck a big cock.

Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.

Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?

Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.