Suck jokes
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.
Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.
Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
They can never find home.
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
Suck!
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
So there was a reason why I hated math.
I suck at problem-solving.
Knock, knock.
You suck my iron with you and mommy.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?
Because when they win, they lose.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Gock gock gock ghghghkghlhglhglhk.