Suck jokes

When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.

Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.

Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.

Another joke, I know they suck.

What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.

Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!

So there was a reason why I hated math.

I suck at problem-solving.

Why does Britain suck at chess?

They lost their queen.

Knock, knock.

You suck my iron with you and mommy.

Suck!

You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)

Why do orphans suck at baseball?

They can never find home.

Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.

Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?

Because when they win, they lose.

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

Gock gock gock ghghghkghlhglhglhk.

I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.

A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.

Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.

As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.

I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.

Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."

Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."

Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.