Study

Study jokes

Research

  • Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.

  • 13
  • Forehead

  • Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"

  • 3
  • Penaldo

  • It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!

  • 0
  • Banana

  • It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

    It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

    Lie

  • Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.

    Son: Okay, I'll do it!

    5 hours later...

    Son: I'm done!

    Dad: I lied.

    Son: So did I!

  • 1
  • London

  • Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!

  • 3
  • Mobile Phone

  • Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

    A: He gave her a ring.

    Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?

    A: Knead for Speed.

    Q: Why is Santa good at karate?

    A: He has a black belt.

    Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

    A: Beast Buy.

    Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

    A: Let’s stick together.

    Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

    A: So he could use his drumsticks.

    Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

    A: Figure skating.

    Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

    A: Beast Buy.

    Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

    A: Let’s stick together.

    Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

    A: So he could use his drumsticks.

    Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

    A: Figure skating.

    Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance?

    A: The glitterbug.

    Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?

    A: Because they always make-up.

    Q: Where do roses sleep at night?

    A: In their flowerbed.

    Q: Why was the shoe bad at gymnastics?

    A: She was a flip-flop.

    Q: What should you wear to a tea party?

    A: A t-shirt.

    Q: What’s rain’s favorite accessory?

    A: A rainbow.

    Q: Where does a sink go dancing?

    A: The Dish-co.

    Q: What’s a princess’s favorite time?

    A: Knight time.

    Q: Why did the Genie get mad?

    A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.

    Q: What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread?

    A: A bun.

    Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?

    A: Hip hop.

    Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?

    A: Shop ‘til they hop.

    Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?

    A: She nailed it.

    Q: What is corn’s favorite music?

    A: Pop.

    Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?

    A: It’s a weak day.

    Q: Why was the politician out of breath?

    A: He was running for office.

    Q: What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element?

    A: Goooooooooooold!

    Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?

    A: He was a cheetah.

    Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?

    A: Pennsylvania.

    Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?

    A: Inside.

    Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?

    A: He forgot his lawsuit.

    Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?

    A: He crashed the computer.

    Q: What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?

    A: An eyeball.

    Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?

    A: Shells.

    Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?

    A: In the fall.

    Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?

    A: Because he knew he would pass.

    Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?

    A: Because it was flat.

    Q: Why didn’t the farmer's son study medicine?

    A: Because he wanted to go into a different field.

    Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?

    A: Pi.

    Q: Why was the princess in the emergency room?

    Bone

  • Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

  • 6