Stress jokes

Why was the dog so stressed out?

It had a ruff day.

What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.

My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!

My anxiety has anxiety.

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D

Employer: Can you perform under pressure?

Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Why was I stress eating on the train track?

To wait to get hit.

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

How do you help a constipated person?

You scare the shit out of them!

Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.

-JFK

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....

What does a cat say when it's angry?

- Stop stressing meowt!

Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.

Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.

My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.

I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.

I apologize for my grammar.