Stress jokes

Kenny is a comfort snacker.

Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.

Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.

Why was the dog so stressed out?

It had a ruff day.

So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?

What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?

cornhub.com

What does a cat say when it's angry?

- Stop stressing meowt!

Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.

Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

What stresses a baby strawberry out?

When its mom is in a jam.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

When you are stressing from homework, just do some skateboarding and kick butt.

When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.

Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D