Stress jokes

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?

What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?

cornhub.com

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

Why was the dog so stressed out?

It had a ruff day.

What does a cat say when it's angry?

- Stop stressing meowt!

Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.

Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

When you are stressing from homework, just do some skateboarding and kick butt.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

What stresses a baby strawberry out?

When its mom is in a jam.

Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D

When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.