Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.
She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
What stresses a baby strawberry out? When its mom is in a jam.
btw friend here also wants to do suicide
friend:why did i cross the road??? me:to get to the other side. friend:true!
friend:hey lets go hang out at the forest today! me:ok *grabs ropes for the both of us and rushes outside bc this is a lucky day* friend:hey atleast we did it!
friend:whats the best thing about me? me:you will eventually end. friend:hmmmmmm . . . true!
friend:what historical time influenced you the most? me:the great depression
if i could be an object id be glass because im see through and i can shatter with the minimum difficulty immediately!
my parents sometimes say im their sunshine! . . . because im painful if you look at me.
teacher:what does km/s mean? me+like almost all of the class:*in unison* it means kill myself but misspelled
friend:whats the best way to end a game? me:with death friend: . . . hmmm now that you think about it yeah! thats the best way!
when your about to jump down a cliff but you realize that you cant litter there
google says that your about 75% water but im make of 101% depression 101% anxiety 101% suicidal 101% stress
brain be like will_to_live.exe, happiness.exe, and many more others not found also you have now got crippling_depression.exe, anxiety.exe, suicide_thoughts.exe, suicide_attempts, and stressful_life.exe so so so much many more
how do you keep weeds away? just put a bucket of crippling depression and suicidal thought and attempts in the soil and then they just kill themselves. problem solved.
when you take antidepressants but they dont work it will just make you more depressed and thats a fact
a bored depressed suicidal person:*sees a dying person* dying person:p-l-pls c-c-c-call m-me a-an amb-b-bulancccee *wheeze* *dies* bored depressed suicidal person:hmmmm ur an ambulance dying person:*manages to get back up* bored depressed suicidal person:oooooohh goddddd dying person:*in a demonic tone* BUT NOT FOR ME~
roses are red inside im dead i have crippling depression some one pls shoot my head
when you finally open up to a person who you think will care and understand but it turns out that they dont you:*panickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanicking*
the only time you should lift your spirits up is when your gonna hang yourself
a made up story starting now so i went to school as usual theres a school shooting all the depressed suicidal people:*crave death* *walks up to shooter* all say KILL ME a made up story starting ending
in this one the friend isnt suicidal friend:wanna play a game? me:life wait no a game has a meaning friend: . . . *crickets* friend:calls suicide hotline me:wait no!!!!!
me:*has crippling depression* *asks mom why i was born* mom:hmmm i think i was drunk and on a lotta drugs me:hmmm tysm *gets the rope* mom:*making hanging puns* me:*hurries to the trash truck*
me:at this point ive lived about a decade depressed and suicidal that i dont struggle with it now, im good at it and its all normal
hope you enjoyed
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone š
"Iām going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.
What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
why did the old man win in a fight becaues he was stresed
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
