Street Jokes

Why did the dog cross the road twice?

Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.

Floor on the road?

She asked:

"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can and I asked "what are you doing" and she said "I'm moving"

Yo mama is so fat when she walking down the street there was cracks all over the sidewalk

Slow down prostitute ahead

The image shows a road sign with a red triangle and a silhouette of a woman in a dress holding a bag. Below the triangle, the text reads "Slowdown Prostitutes ahead" in black letters on a white background. The road sign is placed on a street with trees and other cars visible in the background.

What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?

Dead ends.

Were you born on the streets because that’s were most accidents happen

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.

What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?

Organ harvesting.

Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.

Why did the rapper cross the road?

To drop some STREET KNOWLEDGE on the other side

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."

"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.

"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."

The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"

The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"

I got hit by a bus.

But the bus was my ex.

Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.

Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/

What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.

So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.