Strategy jokes
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.
Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?
Because he's a cheetah!
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
War isn't about who's right. It's about who's left.
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
Two towers.
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
When you are losing at Tetris, I guess the odds are STACKED against you.
You know the only way to win is you have to actually planet.
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
Where does Caesar keep his armies?
Up his sleavies.
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.