I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
Your hairline is so crooked that it made Will Smith feel straight.
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
Your leg is straighter than James Charles.
Why do gay people only stand crooked? Cuz they can’t be straight.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
You know we straight with doin' your mom.
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).
Me be straight and bored.
Goes to my local bar which has a glory hole.
Out up spending the rest of the night there.
About to leave when, motherfucker, I realize I've been sucking a guy's cock this whole time.
):
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
