Straight jokes
I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
Me: You stupid. Guy: You straight. Me: Sorry, I'm not a mirror.
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."
You know we straight with doin' your mom.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.
I'm as straight as a rainbow.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Why do gay people only stand crooked? Cuz they can’t be straight.
Your hairline is so crooked that it made Will Smith feel straight.
Your leg is straighter than James Charles.
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
Me be straight and bored.
Goes to my local bar which has a glory hole.
Out up spending the rest of the night there.
About to leave when, motherfucker, I realize I've been sucking a guy's cock this whole time.
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