Stop

Stop jokes

Plane

  • A twin engine has two engines.

    If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.

    Masturbation

  • A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"

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  • Light

  • Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?

    A: Stop looking, I’m changing!

    Marriage

  • Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.

    Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"

    Humour

  • It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.

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  • Egg

  • Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.

    "These are the eggs from the ostrich!"

    "Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"

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  • Bin Laden

  • What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.

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  • Orphan

  • Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?

    Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.

    Laugh now.

    Grandfather

  • Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

    Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

    Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

    Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

    My last thought: Am I a murderer?

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  • Little Johnny

  • Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."

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  • Site

  • Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Stop.

    Stop who?

    Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!

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  • Animal

  • Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.

    CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.

    Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.

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  • Sky

  • Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny weather, a pleasant place to visit as a family. Don't you think they are not evil creatures, and do you think they have them?

    "No, there are no ghosts or evil creatures." You can say that, but don't be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that's not real. WRONG. Gina's real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that's why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know, right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on Instagram, Facebook, and the worst jokes on the site.

    Gina Claw Scare loved fire, which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time!

    They buried her on a lawn in the forest that caught fire. "HARSH MAN!" I know, right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone's screaming, and then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER.