Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you'll never forget!
(Btw I never actually did this irl yet)
So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you'll be sleeping. (The idea is that you'll be sleep talking.) Then you start to cuss and say the most random things like: Hey you can't chew my cud it's mine, plus, you even went swimming today at that damm lake! Also say something like: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *swat in the air once* Then say: Why I made your f*ckin' bed today you stupid parents! *swat three times* And btw try and not smile as hard as it may be cuz they will be looking at you weird. And try to open your eyes just enough so you can see them. And depending on the tipe of parent you have they may wake you up by then or they will get interested and start laughing! Any way, then say: That mother f*cker that lives across the street just said I was ugly, you should do something about it(sibling name) ______. And also say: And if you happen to know where the nearest store is then that would be helpful. Then say: No Hulk! Leave me alone I love you! *swat twice*. Then say: Uncle Timmy Tom you are such a nude nick.(my dad made up the word nude nick, it just means crazy and annoying) Then settle down and lay on your stomach in your "sleep" and make it look like you putting the blanket on you more, but irl it would probably be to hide a smile! I think I will stop there cuz I don't think any one could hold in there laughter that long and if you feel like you can hold out longer then just make something up.
I hope you guys can do this and it goes well for you! Please comment! Byeee!
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
Why doesn't Africa have pharmacies?
Because you can't take drugs on an empty stomach.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
Diarrhea.
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"
"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.
"I want to be a hunter."
"Why?" the other babies ask.
"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."
