Stolen jokes

So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.

I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!

POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."

I stole one's balls.

If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?

The dark.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!

My gf dumped me, so I took her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

To the guy who stole my depression medication,

I hope you're happy.

I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?

Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈

Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,

I hope you're fucking happy.

Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.

Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.

The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock ‘cause Jill’s real name is Randy.

Yes, this joke is stolen.

Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."