Still jokes
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
Joe mama's so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it’s still printing!
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
Memes
was uppppp
Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
Your mom is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?
A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, obviously not 10; my basement's still dark.
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!
They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3
Your forehead is so big, I took a picture of it last Christmas, and it’s still printing.
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.