Still jokes

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

Without Ronaldo, United would have been: - Eliminated from the UCL in groups! - 13th in the league!

Without Messi, PSG would have been: - Still 1st in the league. - Better chance at beating RM in the UCL.

Who's supposed to be the goat?

How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?

Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea.

"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."

"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"

"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!

Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.

What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?

...

I'm still trying to think of an answer.

Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"

He waited for three hours to get an answer.

His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."