A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
How do you win an argument against an emo?
Kick the chair!
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
How do you start a school shooting at a black school?
Call the cops.
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
what do you call a white person having a seizure?
a vanilla shake.
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.
A Chinese couple had a black baby and named him Sum Ting Wong.
Why do heterosexual men and heterosexual women believe that bisexual men don't exist because male bisexuality doesn't exist? Because it doesn't cycle 🚲.
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.
What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
