Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
What do you call a rich Asian?
Cha-ching!
Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?
White vans.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
